Bereavement –

Mrs M lost her husband to cancer just over 12 months ago; she has struggled to come to terms with his death and the events during the final hours.

Initially Mrs M's Personal Nurse Adviser just allowed her to talk about her husband's illness and deterioration and to express her sadness freely. Mrs M had felt unable to do this as she was trying to ‘protect’ her family by not sharing how she really felt.

The nurse then gently discussed the feelings people can have in relation to bereavement; Mrs M began to understand that her feelings of despair, guilt, anger and sadness, although difficult, were ‘normal’. Mrs M felt some sense of relief that she could talk about them and reassured that her fears about ‘going mad’ were unfounded but not unusual.

The nurse explored a variety of issues with Mrs M including ways to take care of herself and doing small things to nurture herself for example having a duvet day or buying some chocolate.

The nurse and Mrs M identified that a course of bereavement counselling would be of benefit and it was quickly arranged. Mrs M then made contact at her own pace, in her own time.

The nurse has continued to support Mrs M throughout her journey and especially at very poignant and difficult times such as their anniversary and his birthday. In many ways they have become friends.

The nurse has helped to empower Mrs M to access local bereavement groups, consider new activities and widening her social circle to include new friends and experiences. She has benefited from all of these things.

Mrs M knows that although she can never physically have her husband back, she is supported and can see a way forward; she has developed ways of coping which help her through the ‘darker days’. She has learnt that she can still laugh as well as cry and there are people, including the RED ARC nurse who will continue to support her however she is feeling.

Mrs M expressed that she “felt someone genuinely cared during a desperate time and that she was offered gentle strength and motivation.”



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